Three Lies Single Ladies Believe

On a beautiful sunny morning, Jesus was walking in Jerusalem, preaching to the people. As he was passing Mount of Olives, he remarked one interesting thing, “…if you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32

You know, as single girls, its easy to believe the friends around us. We start to think that perhaps they know more. They know their style more. Hair and makeup products. Fitness. Education. And slowly, it becomes harder knowing the truth from the lie. Fact from opinion. And so on. When you have too much information and not enough wisdom, it becomes hard discerning the truth.

I’d like to mention a few of those common opinions below.

1. I HAVE TO BE BEAUTIFUL TO BE ATTRACTIVE.

If you want the cold hard truth, the answer is no. You don’t. One thing I, myself, am still continuing to understand is that, A: I’m fearfully and wonderfully made. And B: God loves me. His love is eternal.

In Psalms 139:13-17, it says it word for word.

And what’s even more incredible is that God has woven you together in your mothers womb! He gave you your fathers eyes, your mothers personality, and God’s big heart! You were God’s nine month project. Sometimes less! God just got a little impatient and wanted to show you off early!! :) You are God’s master piece. And to God, there are no mistakes.  

We often complain about our appearance and try to fix it by doing what other girls are telling us to do. My nose is too big. My eyes are too close together. My thighs are too fat. Those things become an issue.

STORY ABOUT A PAINTER

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A story comes to mind, it start off in England where an old painter lived. He painted extraordinary artwork pieces. He was even well known throughout the land. Everyone wanted a glimpse of his master pieces. Even the queen requested a painting!

One day, the painter decided to gift his niece one of his fine paintings for her birthday. He spent days and weeks on this project. Until finally, it was finished. He took it to his niece with pride and joy and gave it to her beautifully wrapped. His niece eagerly unwrapped it and discovered a painting she did not understand. She squinted and turned her head to the side, even looked at it from afar. Yet, she still couldn’t understand. So instead of a thank you, she went ahead and told the painter everything that was wrong with the painting. The colors were too dull, the paint too moist. She noticed every little detail that she was not too fond of. Without any further words, the painter walked away.

TIME TO ACT

Just like the girl, we get so caught up in the lies, that we begin to correct God’s “mistakes”. So next time you start hearing your friends pointing out your flaws or TV and radio commercials, go to your room, close the door, and whisper those things into God’s ear. I challenge you to take your journal and write down the “mistakes” you believe God made, and back them up with scripture. My favorite couple of verses to go to are written in Psalms 139:13-17.

2. MY PARENTS HAVE NO RIGHT TELLING ME WHAT TO DO.

Here are a couple verses I’d like you to skim through:

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long…” Exodus 20:12

“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise.” Ephesians 6:2

“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you…” Deuteronomy 5:16

“Each of you must respect your mother and father…” Leviticus 19:3

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” Colossians 3:20

“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.” Proverbs 1:8-9

Ladies, though it seems like your parents are giving you a hard time. Like deciding who you should or shouldn’t date or not letting you go out with your friends till midnight. The truth is, your parents are right. Your mom and dad aren’t there to make your life miserable. They’re there to see you succeed. They don’t want to see you in a failing marriage or raising a baby at sixteen. They want to see you happy.

Before I met my husband, I wish I hadn’t been so hard headed. I always needed to have the last word in everything. If my dad told me “no”, my entire world shattered and my heart filled with hurt and distrust. It took a lot of prayer and seeking the Lord to understand that my parents are not wishing me evil, but in fact, just the opposite. My parents had lived longer and know what lies ahead and where to dodge the bullet.

Although one thing I’ve learned from my life is that sometimes, parents don’t know they’re hurting you. They don’t know what you need or want. Something that I had to step over is talking to my parents. Calmly telling them your side of the story. And once you’re done, calmly, (without rolling your eyes:)) listen to them. Just like us, our parents also are in need of some guidance from the Lord. Pray before you approach your parents with the many questions you might have.

GLAMORIZE THE EXERCISE!

Be obedient to your parents even when you don’t understand them. Especially when you feel hatred towards them.

When you feel uptight and misunderstood, I’d love you to do this small exercise.

Clench your fist as hard as you can until your knuckles are white. Your tight fist symbolizes your situation. It doesn’t feel good, does it? Well, the good news is, is that God’s love is eternal and he doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable any more. Slowly open your fist and raise your hand as high as you can. Give God the praise because he delivers you from any given situation. Your unclenched fist symbolizes you letting go and letting God take over.

Have worship music in the background as you do this every time you feel angry.

3. I HAVE TO WAIT FOR “THE ONE”.

My only concern with this is how wrong it sounds. It’s almost like you expect him to walk through your door all nicely packaged up and you’ll have no choice but to accept him. Young girls quickly make this as their lifestyle and act as if God specifically set aside a young man just for you.

The truth is that “the one” is anyone you choose to walk down the aisle with. It comes down to choice and responsibility. Its all about the right timing. Its a mans job to pursue a relationship, but its your choice to recognize and accept him. There will always be options for you, so pray that God will lead and guide you in this very important decision-making instead of sitting around and waiting for him to show up riding on top of a turtle!!

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One cool verse I found says:

“Who, then, are those who fear the Lord? He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.” Psalms 25:12

During your current chapter in life, do what pleases the Lord. Focus on God and what he has in store for you.

SUGGESTED ACTIVITY

Have you ever tried to pray for a whole hour? Or at least 30 minutes? Find a place where you can be alone without interruptions for thirty minutes up to an hour. If thats not possible for you, go to the park, an empty room at church, or even try getting up during the night. To stay focused, write down a schedule.

Here is an example you can use for an hour prayer:

5 Minutes—worship

5 Minutes—thanksgiving

5 Minutes—confession

5 Minutes—pray for unsaved friends and family

5 Minutes—pray for missionaries

5 Minutes—other general requests

5 Minutes—ask for wisdom, grace, and humility in specific areas in which you know you need to change.

5 Minutes—personal requests

5 Minutes—ask for God’s abundant blessing

5 Minutes—praise and thanksgiving

Here is an example you can use for a thirty minute prayer:

5 Minutes—read some scripture

5 Minutes—thank God

5 Minutes—ask forgiveness

5 Minutes—ask for guidance

5 Minutes—pray for others

5 Minutes—close you prayer by giving thanks again