Three Myths About Christian Modesty

Hello Girls! I have come to realize that most of us have a giant rule book in our lives that we constantly refer to.

For an example, your friend comes up to you one day and asks, “Hey Bella! Why don’t you have a boyfriend yet?”

And you’re over here like, “Let me first flip to page 347 and first explain the equation for calculus, why 2+2 really = 3, the definition behind supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and THEN I’ll explain why I don’t have a boyfriend!” as you continue smiling as if you just got your nails done.

So today, I’d like to start off with three myths about christian modesty!

(Disclaimer first! I’m not saying that my views are the absolute truth, that everybody else is wrong and I don’t care what anybody else says.  The thing is, the bible never told us, “Thou shalt not wear this and that,” or “Thou skirt should be this long,” This is just how I understand what the bible is continuing to teach me:))


MYTH #1. DRESSING TO LOOK CUTE FOR GUYS IS A SIN.

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I honestly don’t think it’s a sin or ungodly. For us girls, it’s a natural and a beautiful desire when you want to look good in front of your crush, boyfriend or husband. It’s part of how we were created.

Ever since I was a little girl, my dad was always the one to take me shopping since my mom didn’t like shopping at the time. As we had looked through numerous aisles, my dad always helped me choose a cute outfit for school or church. Not to mention, I was also going through a weird “sweat-shirt-and-sweat-pants” phase back in the day, so my dad was the one pushing me to dress more lady-like so that I’d at least look like I had a home!

It’s okay to dress classy and beautiful. In fact, most guys will thank you, because it shows your confidence and stability.  It shows that you’re comfortable in your environment and body.

Of course, though it’s not a sin, it’s also very important to know what kind of crowd you want to attract. If you’re dressing in a way where too much cleavage is showing or you’re wearing really tight things, you just might attract not just attention to your body but also the wrong kind of guy.

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In 1 Corinthians 3:16-17, it says, “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? …God’s temple is sacred and you are that temple.”

There’s an interesting quote I once heard on a vlog. “…using clothes is like art on the canvas on your body.” Meaning to express your personality, passions and interests with the clothes you’re wearing. Feeling beautiful, feeling classy. But aside from that, I’d like to point out that you should always try to look inside of your own heart before getting dressed up.

One thing I loved to do on my mirror at home was take an expo marker and write in capital letters: DOES THIS HONOR GOD? And every time I was dressing up and standing in front of the mirror, that was the first thing I saw and it always made me think about what I was wearing.


MYTH #2. MODESTY MEANS DRESSING IN SUCH A WAY SO THAT GUYS WON’T LUST AFTER YOU.

I know you’ve heard many church leaders and possibly your mom and aunt say that guys are very visual. But lets put that aside for a little bit. Let’s first define what Lust means.

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Lusting after someone is when you either see someone in person or even an image and you think, “Oh he’s really cute,” and you begin to start thinking about sexual things. You begin to undress them in your mind. Having that strong desire in your heart to do sexual things with them.

But when it comes to clothing, I feel like it’s just a little bit more than just that fact. If you as a female begin to think that you need to start wearing clothes just so a man can’t lust after you, it’ll only make a small difference. Anyone can still chose to lust after you whether or not you’re wearing a super modest dress and you, as an individual, are from a conservative background. Lust is a choice made in every mans heart.

Although, I agree that certain clothes can bring those sexual desires out of a man more easily. Like if your top is too low, or you’re wearing extremely short shorts that could pass for an undergarment. I’m sure most of you feel really uncomfortable when a lady is talking to you and you can see all her business when she’s leaning down. And that incident is ten times worst for guys. For them, it’s like a flashing light that they can’t stop looking at. So guys are more visual. Some girls are too, but on a different level.

It good to start understanding why we can’t wear what we want around men in particular. It’s just an act of respect for those guys who want to keep their eyes pure, and who want a clean conscience.

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There’s an amazing book that you can check out. It’s called Secret Keeper Girl by Dannah Gresh.

She talks about why it’s important to dress modestly and how to find your identity in Christ first. She shares countless quotes, scriptures, quizzes and visual graphs that are very easy to understand for your daughter, niece or even yourself.

Click Here to order your copy today!


MYTH #3. THE SAME RULE OF MODESTY APPLIES TO EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE.

I honestly feel like this is a very big misconception for everyone. For years, there have been debates among church leaders and families on this matter. And though it seems like a no-brainer, many of us get so caught up in what we believe that we begin to criticize what others believe.

And I think the reason why we began to say, “That’s a sin, this is a sin,” is because growing up, we constantly heard rules being made by what we could or couldn’t wear. And most of the things said I’m afraid aren’t even biblical.

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What I mean by that, is that every nationality and ethnicity are different. Every country has their own views on modesty. In some cultures, it’s considered immodest for women to show their hair. In other cultures, it’s considered modest to show a little bit of your belly.

Unfortunately, the bible never gives us specific steps to a modest lifestyle. And when there are grey areas like that, we sometimes tend to make up our own rules according to the bible. And sometimes its easy getting lost underneath all those rules to the point where we slowly stop to love God with all our hearts and loving our neighbors becomes extremely difficult just by the looks of their clothes.

When God gives us those grey areas, he wants us to seek him through it. So when there is confusion, we can stand on our knees and ask God, “Lord, how can I honor you in this area of my life.”

In my personal life, it was always great having sisters and a mother who told me what seemed modest and what seemed like a big no-no.

There will be people in your life who won’t always agree with the kind of clothes you’re wearing, whether it’s modest or immodest. And that’s okay. No body will always agree with you. No one will always support you. And sometimes, that’s the beautiful thing. It helps us learn from each other. So, when you’re unsure of who’s advice to follow, or what to wear. First, get on your knees and pray for God’s guidance, then ask the people who you love and trust.

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